


It's Getting Crazy (So Make A Choice)

by bb_bambam



Series: Life in Idol Town [4]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: College, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Supportive Daehyun, also there are several implied ships like banghim jjp xiuhan and dojae, and banter all the time, and love each other a whole lot, anyway daejae are the fluffiest sappiest couple who support each other always, brief angst, but they're all super duper background, cameos from various members of nct exo vixx blackpink and got7, for like 2 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-07-01 23:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15784368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bb_bambam/pseuds/bb_bambam
Summary: "It’s a little ridiculous, he thinks, because he had no qualms when he was applying for the program: it’s prestigious and aligns well with his career goals. So why is he having doubtsnow, after he’s been accepted?"Youngjae's a senior in college and he has a big decision to make.





	1. Chapter 1

Youngjae stares at the letter in his hands in a daze, reading and rereading the words printed on the page. He vaguely hears the front door open and close, followed by quiet cooing, which means that Daehyun is home from his evening rehearsal and has found Ganji sleeping in the living room, but Youngjae is too fixated on the paper he’s holding to call out a greeting like he normally would.

“Youngjae! Light of my life!” Daehyun’s voice, loud and bright as always, floats through the apartment, and under any other circumstances, Youngjae would be comforted by the sound. Right now, though, he feels irrationally on edge. “Youngjae?” Daehyun repeats, his voice closer this time. A moment later, he peeks his head through the doorway of their bedroom. After a few seconds of lingering outside the door, he seems to realize that Youngjae is too preoccupied to respond, because he makes his way over and carefully sits next to Youngjae on the bed. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I-” Youngjae swallows and finally meets Daehyun’s concerned gaze - “I got accepted.”

He holds the letter out for Daehyun to see, watching Daehyun’s eyes skim the page briefly and taking in the radiant smile that spreads across his face as he registers what it says. “That’s amazing, Jae! I’m so proud of you!” Daehyun wraps his arms around Youngjae and kisses his cheek, clearly delighted for him. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

“Mmm...” Youngjae hums noncommittally, his head swimming with conflicting feelings.

Daehyun seems to pick up on Youngjae’s mood, because his smile dims slightly. “What’s wrong? You look - off. Aren’t you happy?”

“I am,” Youngjae says, but his voice sounds weak even to his own ears. “I _am_ , but I just - it’s so far away. How could I have thought I would be able to just leave - everything? Just like that?” _How could I just leave_ you _?_ he doesn’t say, but he knows Daehyun hears it anyway.

“Youngjae,” Daehyun says warmly, hugging him tighter and kissing his temple. “This is such an amazing opportunity for you, and you know that whatever you decide, I’ll support you, no matter what. We’ve done long-distance before, and it’ll be hard, but we can do it again if we need to.”

“When did you become so mature?” Youngjae mumbles, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips. He already feels a little better, and he knows it’s because Daehyun has never been anything but completely supportive of him in everything - of course this is no different.

But then again, he thinks wryly, it _is_ different, because this wouldn’t be like when Youngjae studied in Japan for a single semester during his junior year of college. This time, he would be halfway around the world, away from his home, his family, his friends, _Daehyun_ , not just for a few months, but for years, because he doesn’t exactly have the finances to be able travel back and forth often (and the cost of tuition definitely wouldn’t help either). It’s a little ridiculous, he thinks, because he had no qualms when he was applying for the program: it’s prestigious and aligns well with his career goals. So why is he having doubts _now_ , after he’s been accepted?

“You have time to think about it, right?” Daehyun asks, brushing a few strands of hair off Youngjae’s forehead.

“I have a month,” Youngjae confirms. “And I still have to hear back from the other program, too.”

Daehyun takes his hand and squeezes it reassuringly. “See? You have some time to consider your options.” His face breaks into a mischievous smile. “I guess these are the kinds of problems you have to deal with when you’re just _too_ smart.”

Despite everything, Daehyun’s cheeky grin manages to pull a genuine smile out of Youngjae as he shoves Daehyun with his shoulder lightly. “Ugh, shut up.”

“What?” Daehyun laughs, clearly pleased with himself for improving Youngjae’s mood. “I love my nerd boyfriend who’s a giant _nerd_.”

“You’re so annoying,” Youngjae says, aware that the smile on his face utterly contradicts his words. He playfully pushes Daehyun away when Daehyun tries to kiss him. “No, go away, you brat.”

“Is that any way to speak to someone older than you?” Daehyun teases, laughing at Youngjae’s exaggerated glare. “You should respect your elders.”

“Okay, _old man_ ,” Youngjae retorts, and Daehyun pouts at him as Youngjae collapses into giggles. “Don’t look at me like that, you’re the one who decided to bring age into this, dummy.”

“Fine, I take it back,” Daehyun concedes, still pouting overdramatically.

“Idiot,” Youngjae says fondly, pulling Daehyun in for a kiss.

When they break apart, Daehyun nudges his nose against Youngjae’s gently. “Are you feeling better now, princess?”

Youngjae smiles. They might banter back and forth relentlessly and drive each other crazy sometimes, but at the end of the day, no one else will ever make Youngjae happy the way Daehyun does. “I am. Thank you, Daehyunnie.”

Daehyun hums in satisfaction. “Anything for you, baby.” As he speaks, the look on his face shifts, and Youngjae knows _intimately_ well what the glint in Daehyun’s eyes means. “Okay, now that we have that settled - you can worry all you want later on, but for now...” Daehyun licks his lips and leans in closer. “I think you deserve a reward for being so amazing, don’t you?” Youngjae can’t help the tiny shiver of pleasure he lets out as he nods, already feeling a little flustered, and that’s all it takes for Daehyun to gently push Youngjae onto his back and capture Youngjae’s lips with his own.

(And after that, well...Daehyun has always been _exceptionally_ good at giving Youngjae the rewards he likes best, and it’s a long while before Youngjae is capable of worrying (or even thinking) about anything at all).

~~~

Unfortunately, as the days come and go, Youngjae isn’t any closer to making a decision, especially after he gets his acceptance letter from the local program he also applied to. The stress he’s under starts to build up - the demands of his final semester of college, his comfortable but time-consuming job at the local coffee shop, his internship at a nearby graphic design company, the bills he and Daehyun have to keep track of, and of course, the looming masters-program-decision deadline - until he snaps one night, unable to hold it in anymore.

It starts when Daehyun offhandedly makes a comment that, in his hassled mental state, grates against Youngjae’s nerves in exactly the wrong way. “Jae, you’ve been stressing about this whole masters program thing for so long. Don’t you think you’re overthinking it?” If he were thinking rationally, Youngjae would have of course understood that Daehyun is only saying this because, as always, he’s genuinely concerned for Youngjae’s well-being. At the moment, though, Youngjae _isn’t_ thinking rationally and is too caught up in his mind to care.

“I’m _overthinking it_?” Youngjae narrows his eyes at him. “This is something that’s going to affect _the rest of my life_. And not just mine, _yours_ too. _You_ should care more about it.”

“I _do_ care,” Daehyun says, sounding a little annoyed, which only makes Youngjae more irritated. “I just think you’re making it into a bigger deal than it is.”

“Oh, so me being gone for the next four years isn’t a big deal?” Youngjae demands.

Daehyun shifts in his spot on the edge of the bed, crossing his arms and giving Youngjae a dry look. “Did I _say_ that?”

“You didn’t need to,” Youngjae snaps. “Do you even care whether I stay here or not? Does it matter to you at all that I’ll be in another country for _years_? Because right now, it kind of seems like it doesn’t.”

“What do you want me to say, Youngjae?” Daehyun sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Do you want me to beg you to stay?”

Youngjae glares at him. “I want you to give me _some_ kind of indication that you would _care_ that I’m not here, that I’m not the only person who has reservations about me leaving!”

Daehyun runs a hand through his hair, agitated. “I already _have_! I said it would be really difficult if we had to do long distance, and I honestly don’t know what else you want from me! Should I tell you I can’t live without you or something? Because we both know that would be a lie. I can and I _have_ lived without you.”

Youngjae stares at him wordlessly for a few moments, his exhausted mind unwilling to read deeper into what Daehyun is saying and instead filling with disbelief. “That’s really great, Daehyun,” he finally says shortly. “Maybe I _should_ just go then, since it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not, apparently.”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” Daehyun lets out a frustrated sigh. “ _Obviously_ I’m capable of living without you. You’re perfectly capable of living without me, too.”

“Wow, please go on. This is really clearing things up,” Youngjae deadpans, feeling more and more wound up. He turns away harshly so Daehyun won’t see the tears of frustration welling up in his eyes.

“But that doesn’t mean I _want_ to,” Daehyun continues like Youngjae didn’t say anything, and all the fight drains out of Youngjae at that. He hears Daehyun stand up and walk towards where Youngjae is standing in the middle of their room, feels Daehyun’s arms sneak around his waist hesitantly. Automatically, instinctively, he leans back, melting into the comfort of Daehyun’s familiar embrace. “God, Youngjae, of _course_ I would care if you weren’t here,” Daehyun mumbles into his shoulder, hugging him tightly from behind. “Of _course_ I don’t want to live without you. I’m only saying that if I really had to, I _could_.”

“I know,” Youngjae whispers, placing his hands on top of Daehyun’s and squeezing gently. A few tears slip out of the corners of his eyes against his will. “I know.”

“And I don’t want _that_ to be what’s keeping you here,” Daehyun explains, pressing a kiss to Youngjae’s shoulder. “This is about you and your career and your happiness. I don’t want to hold you back.”

Youngjae turns around to face him again. “You’re not,” he tells Daehyun, gazing at him intently. “You’ve never held me back, Daehyunnie. Never. And I’m really grateful for that.” He sighs and squeezes Daehyun’s hands again. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

“I’m sorry for not giving you straightforward answers,” Daehyun replies softly, resting his forehead against Youngjae’s, offering him a tiny smile as he brushes a stray tear off Youngjae’s cheek. “I only want you to be happy, angel. You know that, right?” Youngjae closes his eyes and nods, feeling guilty about arguing with Daehyun when he was only trying to help. “If going abroad and doing this program will make you happy, then do it. And I’ll still be here when you’ve earned your degree, waiting for you.” As Daehyun speaks, Ganji strolls into the room and lets out a quiet whine, like he can sense the tension that’s starting to dissipate. They both smile as Daehyun leans down to pick the dog up. “And Ganji will be waiting for his daddy too, right?” he adds, allowing Ganji to lick both their faces happily. “You’re not getting rid of us that easily, got it?”

For the first time that night, Youngjae feels his mouth pull into a smile, and warmth fills his chest as he looks at Daehyun and their little puppy in his arms. “You’re in luck, then,” he says, kissing the top of Ganji’s head and then Daehyun’s cheek, before resting his head on Daehyun’s shoulder and enjoying the feeling of Daehyun’s free arm around him. “Because I don’t _want_ to get rid of you, ever.”

~~~

As he often does when he needs advice, Youngjae decides to go to Yongguk for help. After his classes are done for the day, he heads to Yongguk’s daycare center instead of going home. Yongguk might be busy, Youngjae knows, but he occasionally drops by to help out during the afternoons anyway, so his presence won’t be a problem.

“Hey Youngjae,” Yongguk greets Youngjae with a smile as he walks in. There’s a little boy in Yongguk’s arms (Mark, the son of Johnny, a sophomore who frequents the coffee shop Youngjae works at, if Youngjae remembers correctly) who looks like he’s half-asleep. “What brings you here?”

“Do I need a reason to visit my favorite future brother-in-law?” Youngjae returns playfully. (They both know Daehyun and Youngjae aren’t actually engaged yet, but - despite their little argument yesterday - Youngjae doesn’t doubt that it’ll happen eventually, and he knows Yongguk doesn’t either.)

“Himchan won’t be happy to hear that he’s not your favorite,” Yongguk points out amusedly.

“Not if he doesn’t find out,” Youngjae reasons, grinning mischievously, and Yongguk lets out a fond laugh. “But anyway...I actually do need some advice,” he admits sheepishly.

Yongguk just shakes his head affectionately. “Of course. I just need to bring Mark to the nap room first, and then I’m all ears.”

“Take your time, hyung,” Youngjae says reassuringly. “Do you need any help?”

“No need, everyone else is already inside,” Yongguk tells him, letting out a soft laugh. “Those kids certainly do work efficiently.”

As Yongguk carries Mark away, Youngjae is left momentarily confused about who Yongguk was referring to, before he remembers that Jinyoung and his friend Doyoung work at the center part-time. Youngjae is only really friends with Jinyoung, of course, and knows him to be a very nurturing person, but from Doyoung’s occasional visits to the coffee shop and what he’s heard about him from Jaebum, Youngjae can tell that Doyoung is very similar to Jinyoung in personality, so he’s not surprised to hear that they’re both good at their jobs here.

“Everyone asleep?” Youngjae asks once Yongguk returns with his arms empty.

“Soundly,” Yongguk confirms, smiling. “So, what’s up?”

“I don’t know what to do about my masters,” Youngjae says heavily. “My brain keeps telling me that the best choice is to go abroad and do the program. But I just...I can’t help feeling like it would make so much more sense to just stay and finish it here.”

Yongguk considers his words. “Well,” he starts. “It seems like the quality of the program is important to you, because otherwise this would probably be a pretty straightforward choice.”

“I mean, I’m not going to act like it’s _not_ important,” Youngjae says truthfully. “That’s why I applied there at all, and the fact that I was accepted...it feels like it should be a no-brainer.”

“So then what’s holding you back?” Yongguk asks gently.

Youngjae sighs. “I’m just - I’m _comfortable_ here. I feel settled, you know? All my friends live nearby, I can visit my family easily, I have a steady work situation and connections from my internship, I have a dog and a decent apartment with someone who isn’t _that_ bad to live with -”

“I’m sure Daehyun is thrilled you feel that way,” Yongguk interrupts with a grin.

Youngjae smiles too, imagining Daehyun’s indignant reaction to his words. “Yeah, he better be, since he’s part of the reason I’m struggling so much.”

“Why, does he not want you to go?” Yongguk frowns a little. “Is he trying to stop you or something?”

“Just the opposite, actually,” Youngjae says, smiling wryly. “We got into a little argument yesterday about it. He wants me to do what I think is best for me, which is nice, but it doesn’t help much, because both options are beneficial in different ways. A higher-quality education with access to more resources could ensure a comfortable life for us in the future, but so could building on what I already have here.”

Yongguk nods in understanding. “So it really comes down to what you think will make you happiest in the long run, then,” he says.

“That’s the hard part, though,” Youngjae sighs. “If I say focusing on my career will make me happier, it feels like I’m implying that my family and friends aren’t as important. But if I say staying here would be better, it feels like I’m throwing away an opportunity.”

“It’s not as black-and-white as that, Youngjae,” Yongguk says, shaking his head fondly. “No one is going to fault you for thinking about your career, especially not your friends and family who _know_ what’s important to you. And it definitely isn’t fair to say that choosing to stay is throwing away an opportunity, because there are plenty of opportunities for you here, too.”

“Yeah,” Youngjae agrees, shifting his weight restlessly. “I guess that’s true.”

“The point is, there isn’t a wrong choice here,” Yongguk explains. “No matter what you choose, you’re going to get something good out of it. And if we’re being honest, Youngjae, with a brain like yours, you’ll end up successful regardless of what you decide to do. So I would say that you should weigh your options and consider things like cost and convenience, but don’t lose too much sleep over it. It really wouldn’t be the end of the world if you just end up going with your instincts. Life will go on, I promise.”

Youngjae nods slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”

“And remember what I always say,” Yongguk adds, reminding Youngjae of the motto he’s had for as long as Youngjae can remember.

“Do what you like, love what you do,” Youngjae recites dutifully, the words rolling easily off his tongue after years and years of hearing Yongguk repeat it.

“Exactly,” Yongguk says, beaming proudly at him. “I’m sure you’ll be fine anyway, but whatever you choose, make sure you love it.”

“I will,” Youngjae promises. “I’ll probably keep thinking about it a bit, but this helps a lot. Thank you, hyung.”

Yongguk shakes his head and ruffles Youngjae’s hair, and for a moment, Youngjae feels like he’s back in middle school, complaining to Yongguk that Daehyun tried to copy his homework again - it’s almost funny, how years later, everything is different, but so much is exactly the same. “You know it’s nothing, Youngjae. I’m always here to help.”

~~~

In the end, after long nights of discussions with Daehyun and hours of making lists of pros and cons, Youngjae comes to a decision abruptly, unexpectedly, on a relatively mundane Thursday afternoon in the middle of his shift at the coffee shop.

It isn’t a particularly special day - outside, the sun peeks occasionally through the clouds littered across the sky, as is usual in the middle of winter; inside, the scent of coffee beans and sugar fills the air the way it always does, and the customers sit at their tables, conversing quietly just like they normally do. In fact, Youngjae can, as he can most days, identify every customer by name: because it’s such a small town, almost everyone who visits the shop has been there before, and even if they haven’t, Youngjae has some knowledge of who they are anyway.

Jaebum and Jinyoung, two of the shop’s most frequent visitors, sit at their usual table, Jaebum with his strawberry milk and Jinyoung with his coffee. They’re studying together, although “studying” is a loose term, Youngjae notes amusedly, because Jaebum is spending more time looking at Jinyoung - and more specifically at the silver ring that just recently appeared on Jinyoung’s ring finger because Jaebum put it there during their spring-break road trip - than at his books. It would almost be sweet how Jaebum hasn’t changed at all since the day he met Jinyoung, Youngjae thinks, except for how it’s just _way_ too sappy.

Hakyeon, a childhood friend of Yongguk’s and one of Jongup’s dance teachers, is sitting with his youngest son, Sanghyuk, in his lap, apparently listening to the little boy tell some kind of story. His other three boys, Jaehwan, Wonsik, and Hongbin, sit clustered together in the booth across from him, playing on an iPad. Presumably, he’s spending some time with his kids before he opens the dance studio for the evening. A table away, a girl Youngjae vaguely recognizes as Jisoo, one of Jinyoung’s close friends from high school, is sitting across from her friend Jennie, chatting animatedly.

Sitting by the window in one of the far corners of the shop are Luhan, who Youngjae knows as Jongdae’s brother-in-law, and his son, Kyungsoo. Luhan is still in his workout clothes, which Youngjae assumes means he probably picked up Kyungsoo from school directly after his soccer practice, and he’s taking random pictures of Kyungsoo drinking his hot chocolate, which Youngjae is sure are being sent to his husband.

 _Daehyun will probably be like that with our kids_ , Youngjae thinks absently, before looking away and forcing himself to cut off that line of thinking. Having a dog together is one thing; picturing a family with Daehyun is more dangerous territory, makes him want things that aren’t necessarily plausible when it’s still unclear what the next few years are going to look like for them.

And of course it’s at that moment, while he’s trying to quell the (frighteningly tempting) images of Daehyun cuddling their hypothetical children, that a voice comes from behind him. “Hi, could I please get a caramel latte and a kiss?” Youngjae feels himself melt into a smile, though he immediately tries to hide it.

Without turning around, he replies, “Sorry, our supply of cheesiness is sold out today.” When he finally turns, he tries to maintain a straight face, but it’s a difficult task, considering how adorable Daehyun looks when he’s pouting at Youngjae. (He would ardently deny it if anyone were to ask, but Youngjae has always been absolutely weak for Daehyun when he’s being cute - which, unfortunately for the completely-biased Youngjae, is most of the time.)

“You don’t even have one kiss to spare for your favorite customer?” Daehyun pretends to be offended, looking at Youngjae with pleading eyes as he rests his elbow on the counter and leans his head on his hand.

Youngjae lasts about three seconds before he cracks, rolling his eyes fondly as he breaks into a smile. “You’re lucky there aren’t any other customers in line right now or we’d both be in trouble,” he says, even as he leans over the counter and presses a fleeting kiss to the corner of Daehyun’s mouth.

“There isn’t a single person in this shop who doesn’t know us well enough to not expect this from us,” Daehyun reasons. “No one would care.”

“They might,” Youngjae retorts, just to be contrary, the way he often does when he knows Daehyun is right.

As usual, Daehyun sees right through his artificial attempts to be argumentative. “Whatever you say, cutie,” he winks with a cheeky smile, and Youngjae has to actively force himself to maintain an unaffected expression as Daehyun leans over the counter to steal a proper kiss. (He can feel himself getting warm anyway, because Daehyun has always been good at taking advantage of Youngjae’s weakness for being addressed with terms of endearment.) “I’ll wait at our table for your shift to end, okay? Don’t work too hard.” It’s a silly thing to say, really, because they both know his shift ends in about five minutes, but Youngjae appreciates it nonetheless.

A group of customers walks in as Youngjae watches Daehyun make his way to “their” table. “You know, I think the barista has a crush on me,” Daehyun whispers conspiratorially to the five boys as he passes them. “He blushed when I called him cute, isn’t that just _so_ precious?” He’s acting like he’s trying to keep his voice down, but Youngjae knows he was meant to hear the whole thing. He can’t resist rolling his eyes even though he’s smiling, because his boyfriend really is ridiculous.

The majority of the group (which, Youngjae notes, is comprised entirely of people he’s familiar with - two freshmen, Ten and Kun, and two high school seniors, Sicheng and Jaehyun) exchanges puzzled looks, possibly confused as to why Daehyun is telling them this, but the fifth person, who Youngjae recognizes as Doyoung, looks decidedly unimpressed. “Isn’t he your _boyfriend_?”

Daehyun is, as Youngjae expected he would be, entirely unfazed. “What’s your point?” he asks cheerfully, before skipping off to the table closest to the counter (the best spot to watch Youngjae work from, apparently).

“I can’t believe I’m in love with such an idiot,” Youngjae mumbles under his breath. It loses some of its effect because, as always, his voice is full of affection as he says it.

“Don’t worry, it happens to us all,” Doyoung tells him, rolling his eyes as the person he’s referring to continues chattering away obliviously to the others. (Incidentally, the person in question, Jaehyun, is probably the only person in town who has yet to be aware of how Doyoung feels about him.) “Anyway, is Taeyong-hyung here yet?”

“His shift doesn’t start until 3,” Youngjae informs him apologetically. Taeyong, the other barista who works at the shop, is never late for a shift, but he’s also never early; he always shows up exactly at the time he’s supposed to start. Youngjae guesses it has something to do with his pregnant sister and his toddler nephew who he’s basically in charge of taking care of. “He should probably be here in a few minutes.”

“Okay, thanks Youngjae-hyung,” Doyoung says. “We’ll wait for him to get here so you don’t have to make all our orders right before you leave.”

Youngjae smiles gratefully at him, and as he watches the group walk to a table - Doyoung stopping to give Jinyoung a quick hug and poke Jisoo (his sister, Youngjae remembers) on the cheek - he can’t help but be struck by a sudden, overwhelming sense of belonging. Here, in this tiny little coffee shop, in this tiny little town he’s spent his entire life thinking he’d want to leave someday, things feel _right_.

He’s still feeling inexplicably emotional when Taeyong walks in at exactly 3 pm and greets him with his usual smile before making his way behind the counter so Youngjae can sign off for the day. Youngjae takes off his apron and walks over to where Daehyun is waiting for him, making sure to remember the caramel latte Daehyun had jokingly ordered (because even if he hadn’t actually wanted it, Youngjae gets a free drink every day, and anyway - not that he’d ever admit it out loud - he loves watching Daehyun’s face light up when he’s given something he likes.)

“Ooh, is this for me?” Daehyun reaches out excitedly for the cup in Youngjae’s hands, only to pout when Youngjae drinks from it first as he sits down.

“Ask nicely,” Youngjae requests with an overdramatic sigh. “I had such a _long_ , _difficult_ day, and I worked _so hard_ to make this, I think maybe I deserve it more.”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Daehyun immediately takes Youngjae’s face in his hands, pressing kisses everywhere he can reach. “Baby,” he coos, “angel, sweetheart, love of my life. Please let me drink some of the coffee you worked so hard to make?”

“You’re obnoxious,” Youngjae tells him before pecking his lips lightly and handing the cup over.

“And you still love me,” Daehyun sings, which of course is true, so Youngjae just sticks his tongue out at him and hides a smile when Daehyun blows a kiss back.

He looks around the shop once again, taking in all the faces he’s known for what feels like his whole life, unable to shake the feeling of warmth that floods through him. When his eyes finally land back on Daehyun, he finds his boyfriend gazing at him fondly. “What?” he asks. “What’s with that look on your face?” (In all honesty, Youngjae loves this particular expression, loves how Daehyun can make him feel loved with just one look, but of course, he also refuses to say anything so sappy out loud.)

“You’re beautiful,” Daehyun says simply, his smile soft and affectionate, and even after years and years of hearing lines just like this one, it still makes Youngjae’s heart flutter. “You look happy.”

Youngjae doesn’t even try to resist the urge to smile back. “I _am_ happy.” In that moment, he knows what his decision is going to be. And really, he thinks, though it took him longer than it should have to realize it, in the end, this choice was inevitable.

(That’s how he knows it’s the right one.)

~~~

“Daehyun,” Youngjae calls as he reads the words on his laptop screen one final time before clicking the “send” button. It’s been a day since he came to his big realization, and it’s finally time to make a commitment. “Daehyunnie, come here! It’s important!”

Daehyun peeks his head through the door. “Aha! You have a secret child, don’t you? I knew it!”

“Oh my god, literally what are you talking about?” Youngjae groans. “How did you even come up with that? Remind me why I put up with you again?”

“It’s because you love me!” Daehyun sings, sauntering into the room and dropping himself unceremoniously on the bed, half on Youngjae’s lap. “So what’s the big news?”

“Get off me first,” Youngjae says, but his tone is playful and he makes no move to push Daehyun off. “Anyway, so I told you I decided what I’m doing, right?” Daehyun nods slowly. “Well, I just did it. I emailed the program and told them I have to respectfully decline their acceptance.”

Daehyun stares at him for a moment. “Wait. You - so you’re -” He breaks off, his eyes full of hope.

A smile spreads across Youngjae’s face. “Yeah. I committed to the local university. I’m staying here.”

“Youngjae,” Daehyun breathes, looking at him with adoration. He looks at Youngjae like this a lot - he always has, since before they were teens - but Youngjae thinks he’ll probably never get used to seeing how much he means to Daehyun reflected right there in his eyes.

He melts readily into the searing kiss Daehyun gives him, pushing his laptop away in favor of pulling Daehyun closer and humming contentedly against Daehyun’s lips. “Maybe I should commit to masters programs more often, if this is the reception I get.” Daehyun just laughs breathlessly and peppers kisses all over Youngjae’s face. “What?” Youngjae demands, pouting in the way he knows Daehyun can’t resist.

“Nothing,” Daehyun replies, smiling at him brightly. “You’re happy, so I’m happy. I would’ve been happy anyway, but can you blame me for being a little selfish and being extra glad because I get to have you here?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Youngjae says, kissing Daehyun’s nose. “Of course you’re allowed to be happy I’m staying. _I’m_ happy I’m staying.”

“You would’ve missed me _so_ much, right?” Daehyun teases, because they both know that while it wasn’t the main reason behind Youngjae’s decision to stay, it certainly did play a role.

“I think I would’ve been fine, actually,” Youngjae retorts cheekily. “The hardest part would have been missing Ganji.”

“That’s _so_ fake,” Daehyun says, grinning. “You would’ve had to cook for yourself, and Mr. Perfect _hates_ cooking because it’s the one thing he’s not good at.”

“What, you think I couldn’t have learned how to cook properly?” Youngjae asks, pretending to be offended instead of wiping the smirk off Daehyun’s lips with his own the way he wants to.

“Maybe you could have,” Daehyun concedes, before he smiles even more widely, “but you definitely wouldn’t have been able to get over your need to be held while falling asleep.”

Youngjae glares up at him, affronted. “It is not a _need_. _You’re_ the needy one in this relationship. Who wants you strangling me when I’m trying to sleep, anyway?”

“Liar,” Daehyun says with a knowing smile, kissing the corner of Youngjae’s mouth. “You’re cute when you’re trying to pretend like you’re any less needy than I am even though I can _feel_ you cuddling closer every night. And I think it just would’ve been _too_ hard for you to be without me.”

“As if,” Youngjae scoffs, but he thinks that even though Daehyun is joking, his words are probably at least a little true. After all, Daehyun isn’t just his boyfriend and his lover; he’s first and foremost Youngjae’s best, closest, most trusted friend. And maybe Daehyun was right when he said that they _can_ live without each other, but Youngjae personally agrees more with what Daehyun had said after that: he certainly doesn’t _want_ to.

“Anyway, I’m really proud of you, baby.” Daehyun presses a lazy kiss to the underside of Youngjae’s jaw. “My little genius who’s so good that every program he applied to accepted him.”

“I only applied to two programs,” Youngjae reminds him. “And anyway, they all just want my money.”

“They want _you_ ,” Daehyun insists. “But unfortunately for them, they’ll have to wait a bit, because right now, someone else wants you more.”

Youngjae feels his mouth curl into a smile as Daehyun’s familiar heated gaze meets his own. “I wonder who that could be.”

“I guess you’ll have to wait and find out,” Daehyun whispers, ghosting his lips over Youngjae’s teasingly.

“Hmm, I think I can live with that,” Youngjae breathes.

Daehyun pins Youngjae’s wrists above his head and presses him into the mattress, kissing gently along Youngjae’s jaw. “Then it’s a good thing you’re going to be living here for a pretty long time, huh?”

And as his eyes flutter shut when Daehyun finally seals their lips together, Youngjae thinks about how he gets to have not only his masters program, but his hometown _and_ his friends _and_ Daehyun - so _yes_. It _is_ a good thing. And he couldn’t be more grateful for it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friend group learns about the big news (on Twitter, because where else would anyone share important life events?)

**local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_ i said YES!

      **Def.** _@PrdsDefJB_ _  
_       _@YJay_Yoo_ BITCH WTF DAEHYUN PROPOSED??

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@PrdsDefJB_ uhhhhhh no tf

      **dont call me baekkie** _@Baekhyunnieee_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ UR ENGAGED??? PICS????

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Baekhyunnieee_ im not…

                **dont call me baekkie** _@Baekhyunnieee_ _  
_                 _@YJay_Yoo_ then y tf would u PHRASE THIS TWEET LIKE THAT

      **Jung Daehyun**   _@DH_Jung_ _  
_       _@YJay_Yoo_ ♡♡♡♡♡♡

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@DH_Jung_ u big sappy loser ♡

      **boys do NOT interact**   _@Kang_Seulgi_210_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ oh my GOD???? wedding???

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Kang_Seulgi_210_ no y does everyone think this

      **CY**   _@Real_PCY_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ daehyun proposed???

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Real_PCY_ NO!!

                **CY**   _@Real_PCY_  
                _@YJay_Yoo_ ???

      **not the restaurant**   _@WendySon212_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_  congrats to u and daehyun!!

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@WendySon212_ we’re not engaged jsdkfhjdhkjd

      **Jinyoung**   _@Jinyoung_0922_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ if you’re not engaged maybe...explain what this is about

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Jinyoung_0922_ dont tell me what 2 do!

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Jinyoung_0922_ but ok tru

 

 **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_ jkhdsajdfsjaksd y does everyone think daehyun proposed ofc he didnt ??

      **Jung Daehyun**   _@DH_Jung_ _  
_       _@YJay_Yoo_ hey wym “ofc” he didnt ????? rude

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@DH_Jung_ i mean OBVI this isnt abt a proposal im gonna make a much bigger deal when u do???

                **Jung Daehyun**   _@DH_Jung_ _  
_                 _@YJay_Yoo_ oooo ok ♡♡♡♡♡♡

      **Def.** _@PrdsDefJB_ _  
_       _@YJay_Yoo_ youre so goddamn annoying oh my GOD

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@PrdsDefJB_ and yet...u love me ;)

      **Jinyoung**   _@Jinyoung_0922_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ sure is a mystery  >.>

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Jinyoung_0922_   _@PrdsDefJB_ tell ur bf to respect his elders

                **Def.** _@PrdsDefJB_ _  
_                 _@YJay_Yoo_ tell him yourself tf

                **Jinyoung**   _@Jinyoung_0922_  
                _@YJay_Yoo_ fiance actually ;-) unlike someone here

 

 **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_  
i said YES!  
(to grad school)  
smh @ all u weirdos

      **CY**   _@Real_PCY_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ congrats but u HAVE 2 kno y everyone thought this was abt a proposal @ first 

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Real_PCY_ thank u and hmm maybe...

      **Son Hyunwoo**   _@Hyunwoo1806_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ congrats youngjae!

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Hyunwoo1806_ thank u! also ur the only valid friend i have

                **Jung Daehyun** _@DH_Jung_  
                _@YJay_Yoo_ :(

                **Son Hyunwoo**   _@Hyunwoo1806_  
                _@YJay_Yoo_ lol

      **Def.** _@PrdsDefJB_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ there was that so difficult???  
     but congrats

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_  
           _@PrdsDefJB_ it rly was  
          but thx boo

      **Jung Daehyun** _@DH_Jung_ _  
_       _@YJay_Yoo_ lmao

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@DH_Jung_ everyone is so dumb smh

      **dont call me baekkie** _@Baekhyunnieee_ _  
_       _@YJay_Yoo_ still mad but nice congratulations

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_            _@Baekhyunnieee_ omg pls 4give me someday ;_; and thank u

                **dont call me baekkie** _@Baekhyunnieee_ _  
_                 _@YJay_Yoo_ lmao dramatic

      **Jinyoung**   _@Jinyoung_0922_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ wow that’s awesome hyung congratulations! 

           **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_  
           _@Jinyoung_0922_ dont think this means i forgot the disrespect from earlier but thank u kiddo

                **Jinyoung**   _@Jinyoung_0922_  
                _@YJay_Yoo_ ok never call me kiddo again

                     **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_                      _@Jinyoung_0922_ hehe

 **not the restaurant**   _@WendySon212_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ this makes more sense lmao anyway congrats!

 **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
__@WendySon212_ thank u srry abt the previous tweet lmao

 **boys do NOT interact**   _@Kang_Seulgi_210_  
      _@YJay_Yoo_ u rly made us all think u were getting married...

 **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
__@Kang_Seulgi_210_ not my fault u all jump to conclusions smh

 **boys do NOT interact**   _@Kang_Seulgi_210_  
                _@YJay_Yoo_ well congrats anyway!

 **local genius** _@YJay_Yoo_ _  
_                      _@Kang_Seulgi_210_ thx!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add an additional part to this, so here it is: some lighthearted banter between the 92-94 line friend group! Enjoy! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've actually had this fic complete for months and months (like...since May?) but I was waiting to post it until after I had finished some of the other fics I'm working on in this universe that take place before this one in the timeline. But those are taking a really long time, so I decided what the heck? Let's just post this one already!
> 
> I want to stress that I really don't like the idea of making major life decisions purely based on relationships, so I definitely tried to make clear that his relationship with Daehyun is NOT the main motivation for Youngjae to stay. It obviously plays a role, as a relationship would in real life, but Youngjae has a difficult time making his choice precisely BECAUSE there are so many other factors at play. 
> 
> Daehyun not forcing him to stay is also important because for me, a healthy relationship implies that both people are able to make decisions independently without pressure from the other. (It admittedly backfires a little for him, but of course they sort through that fairly quickly: COMMUNICATION is key!!)
> 
> I actually originally considered making Youngjae choose to go abroad, but I think with the way I've written him, he really is attached to his hometown and ultimately, he'll be happier and able to build on what he already has by staying.
> 
> You may notice I included a bunch of other characters who exist in this universe, and if you're confused, sorry about that! I only included them to expand the world a little more. When I get around to it (probably not for a while though, since college is starting), their stories will be elaborated on in more detail!
> 
> Title is a lyric from Into My World by EXO! (I know, usually I try to do BAP songs for BAP fics, but this one seemed to fit pretty well so I just went with it lol)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and comments and feedback are welcomed! :)


End file.
